A Strange Dream
[info]edgarishankulov
I dont often have dreams, Usually I just fall asleep and seems like the alarm clock goes off in a minute....
But this time i had a pretty weird dream.
It all starts in a countryside house without a roof, house just like from a Disney cartoon Alladin. I am getting ready for a performance with a famous rap artist. The organizers of the event are a married couple I once worked for. They were organizing tour trips to Malaysian tourists and they pretty much sucked. Could deal with any problems and were disorganized as hell. So these guys are organizing the concert. The place is really small, just like a living room of bog house. So I go to change for the performance. The dressing room is very dirty and dark just like a bathroom of an old camp. So I got dressed and I realize that 2Pac is the artist that came to perform there.(which is strange because I was never a fan of his). Anyway I get really excited and try to make sure that everything is ready. But evrything basically sucks, We cant find the right track, the microphones are fucked up. Finally we find California Love and I try to sing it with him cause its a great honor, but the mic doesnt work. Then they give me an open bottle of ketchup to sing to))) I get real pissed off. There are no people. And we just sit at a "Курпача" the table is set right on the floor, but I'm surprised that 2Pac's is all simple and happy and calm. So he just eats and feeds his daughter. We have a nice talk with  him...
:)
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The Art Of Not Caring
[info]edgarishankulov
Here's what I've figured out based on the repetitiveness of this "phenomena" which I call the "not caring" phenomena. We, humans, all have problems and we all try to find solutions to them as hard as we can, some times even in vain as soon as possible... 
I've noticed that when I'm given an opportunity, I straight away turn it into a problem for myself.... For example you get a call from a great opportunity at a new job... You reply and start waiting.... What I didint realize is that right after that, I get more and more frustrated as the waiting time goes by, because I start thinking about the reasons why it could mess up... Think about the possible reasons why its taking so long, and the reasons are always in dark colors... I'm pretty sure that most of us do that.
The same day I realized that, I was listening to my favorite Rap music and plenty of those rappers kept saying "I don't give a damn/shit/fuck", all in all that they dont care. And then I remembered all the times when I was calm about an issue and was nervous the least about.... Well they all turned out to be successull...
Something to think about anyway, but as for me I find this "Art of not caring"(thats what I call it) very hard! It is really an art. People used to say "Dont get your hopes up about something", but actually thats not what we shouldnt do! Its just when we get our hopes up too high about something, a person automatically, not even noticing it, starts modulating things that  could go wrong with the thing you're hoping on... 
Art is an art. Let's try to understand it right, and try to enjoy its benefits... Let's hope but not fixate on problems, let's not turn opportunities into problems. Or how my fellow Rap artist says - Give a fuck? I dont know what a fuck is to give it!
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Dancing in between 2 flames...
[info]edgarishankulov

My mother used to always tell me - "Son u should be diplomatic and strategic in your communication with other people and you relationhip"... But what happens when you find yourself in between of 2 of your closest people and each one's truth and fairness is the total opposite for the other. What happens when each action of one or the other party is understood negatively towards the second? Should I leave it alone? Fight for it? Get involved in telling lies to both just to keep the peace for the sake of time? When will the peace come? It feels like dancing in between of 2 flames each one of which becomes stronger or weaker periodically...


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The Great Problem of Formulating in my life...
[info]edgarishankulov
The world would be much better if people could formulate and define exactly what they feel... Angry, dissapointed faces would turn into caring and understanding ones... Most of the time I cannot formulate when I feel bad inside and this keeps eating me from the inside...
Well, let me try to put my current feelings on this electronic paper at least now,,, Maybe it will help me...
I'm going through one of the hardest times in my life. For the past 10 months I havent seen anything but my workplace and my home. I live in China. I'm here alone and the only matter of entertainment is my computer.
I work hard... Like reaaally hard... I'm trying to achieve things which I even never dreamed achieving.
A short time ago I was working on 3 jobs having only 4 hours of sleep per day... I used to come back home from teaching, have a chat with my girlfriend for a couple of hours on the internet, then have a nap for 2 hours go DJing, come back home and sleep for 2 hours then go to work... That didnt really bring me down, but what did is actually the fact that my close people would not even appreciate what I was doing especially those who I was doing it for... Looking at it now, I dont blame noone, cos they've never seen me run around throughout the day feeling like passing out... Nevertheless I felt hurt and couldnt formulate what I felt because of many reasons like not being able to and being scared that it would sound like an accusation...
Right now I feel like I'm trapped. My life is made of numbers... Dates, deadlines, MONEY... I have nightmares of going crazy and fighting black numbers(no racism). My deadlines, debts, responsibilities are like burning thoughts in my mind that keep leaving scars of noneforgetfullness... And still there is no appreciation... So then a question rises up... But what about me? What is MY reward for all this struggle? 
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Rate The Sexiness Of IBS Girls
[info]edgarishankulov

Here's my doodle thing. It's very interesting. Check it ou!  http://www.doodle.ch/kuyas385ta49ngpq

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Nigga or Nigger???
[info]edgarishankulov
I guess a lot of people are curious about the strange attitude of black people towards the N word. Let me explain why they can kick your ass for this word and why at the same time they call each other "Nigga!!". OK, let's start with the history of the word Nigger. Nigger was the word that was used to call slaves during the slavery, the word meant a lot of bad and humiliating things. Black people all around the world call each other and also other people "Nigga" beacause that's a different word of the word "Nigger". The word "Nigga" means brother or man. That's the all mystery. It's just 2 different words. And if you called a black man that, you have to know the difference whan being asked, otherwise you'll get your ass whipped...
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Pipiskin...
[info]edgarishankulov

He appeared in 2007, on September, 13, after a mistake made by a journalist of one of Russian Web News Agencies Fyodor Ponomaryov , who failed to recall the name of the proposed prime-minister and replaced the name Viktor Zubkov with Viktor Pipiskin (a surname origined from the word "pipiska", a slang for "genitals"). The article was deleted after 30 seconds after uploading to the News Website, but it was too late, because RSS-channels copied the news to many other sites. The journalist was fired but the new virtual politician became even more popular then the real politicians in Runet (Russian Internet area). Many people became real Pipiskin's fans and create Pipiskin communities in LiveJournal and even created an "official site of Victor Pipiskin". This website took the 22-nd position in Top 30 of Russian Political Websites. The Pipiskin phenomena was the first precedent of a really popular virtual politician.

 

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Midterms Are Over
[info]edgarishankulov
Yep ladies and gentlemen, the midterms are over... Am I happy? Am I relieved? I don't think so... The wierdest thing is that this midterm was the one in which I was totally sure... Nevertheless one of my worst. I even had an F on probability. I don't know why da hell, but Mr. Zarif said that I was cheating. Anyway I have to strive with all my strength now. I also got  2 jobs and I study chinese, so I got literally like NO TIME :)
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Faith by Ishankulov Edgar
[info]edgarishankulov
Everyday is so cold, feel like getting old,

Every person I see reveal their soul is sold,

So why you fake that you're great for lord's sake

Would you stop all the hate, you see all mistakes you make?

And I'm a human I know I make them a lot

And right now in my life I came to a certain spot

That you feel that something's missing and it's pissing you off

Like a nigga dissing, I don't know if it's a missus (You feel me?)

I just wanna say - it's hard being on your own

I had a dream that my father would never leave our home

Though I'm not saying it's a shame - life's a race

I started without a co-pilot and I hope I'll never see his face!

But I, hope that we can listen to each other right?

If you got some real friends you gotta hold them tight.

And at last could you see the inner beauty of a person,

I can see that, guess what that made me a bigger person

Chorus:

But why, we all wanna grab and get gone?

And we lie that we're cold and inside it's a stone.

People die and we don't even know how to face

Man I got faith in you, I got faith!

Verse2

Hundred times I said my heart is broken it ain't work,

Billion lies I hear - "Mommy babies don't come with a stork!"

Still I got soul no red horns yet,

Though I like to bang hos and with the gamblers bet

But a, a swing swings till the physics laws work

And I work like a robot made of steel and some dirt

You ain't got to spend much and not care about it at all

You don't have to show love, it won't break it won't stall, but if

You could think what 's inside,

When your pretty funmaker crawls in his bed and just cries

If anybody could see all the pain that he gets

And the settings to become better everyday that he sets



Yo one man's pain is another man's pleasure,

One man's loss is another man's treasure,

One man's born and another one is dead,

One man is feeding and another one is fed.
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Russel Simmons
[info]edgarishankulov

Today I want to tell you about one of the businessmen whom I really admire...
Russell Simmons (born October 4, 1957 in Queens, New York), is an American entrepreneur, the co-founder, with Rick Rubin, of the pioneering hip-hop label Def Jam, founder of another label, Russell Simmons Music Group, and creator of the clothing fashion line Phat Farm and the fragrance label Atman.

Russell Simmons is the younger brother of Daniel "Danny" Simmons, Jr and he is the older brother of Rev. Joseph Simmons, better known as "Run" of Run-DMC, and son of Daniel Simmons, Sr, a public school administrator. His brother Daniel "Danny" Simmons, Jr is an accomplished abstract artist.

Since May 2005 he has been a contributing blogger at The Huffington Post.

Russell Simmons is the third richest hip hop entrepreneur, having a net-worth estimate of $340 million.[1] He is only behind Jay-Z at $547M, and P Diddy at $358M.

Recently, Simmons brought his show Def Poetry to Broadway as a live show, earning awards for the youthful and multicultural cast.

Simmons, in partnership with a financial institution, released a line of re-loadable Visa debit cards aimed at consumers who would otherwise have problems obtaining a credit card account. These prepaid cards include the RushCard and the Baby Phat RushCard.

In July 2006, Simmons, in addition to other members of the Hip-Hop Summit Action Network, was named a Goodwill Ambassador of CISRI-ISP.[1] According to the press release, Simmons' appointment will help "launch an awareness campaign utilizing hip-hop as a vehicle to address war, poverty and HIV/AIDS, in support of the UN Millennium Development Goals as well as the CISRI-ISP fight against severe poverty and malnutrition [5]. On August 24,2006, Simmons hosted a reception in support of Republican United States Senate candidate from Maryland, Michael Steele [6]. In December 2006, Simmons was criticized for claims that he made following a tour organized by De Beers, of Botswana's Jwaneng mine, one of the world's richest diamond mines. This was part of a nine day, three country trip through Africa. Some expressed concern that this was part of a larger public relations effort organized by De Beers to counter expected controversies following the release of the movie Blood Diamond. Simmons' response was that he felt too much focus has been put on "conflict diamonds" and that his job was "to take what's good and make it better"[7]. Russell Simmons also is a U.S. board of directors for Upliftment Jamaica (www.upliftmentjamaica.org) an organization started by Gary Foster, Vice President of Rush Communication which seeks to empower impoverished communities throughout Jamaica and the Caribbean.

Simmons has since gained attention by calling for the removal of the words 'nigga', 'bitch' and 'ho' from the "clean" radio edited versions of rap songs[8].

In July 2007, Simmons, frustrated that the Howard Stern Show would not book him as a guest to promote his recent book, vented on the Jay Thomas radio show by bad mouthing Stern show producer Gary Dell'Abate. When Stern heard this, he called Simmons and immediately booked Simmons for the show on July 24, 2007 to talk about this. The two are now friends.

In 2007, it's rumored that Simmons met in Detroit with filmmaker, producer, entertainment business consultant Dionciel Armstrong to discuss his plans to buy a stake in Armstrong's Rap Files Enterprises, Inc. that produces a monthly newspaper, dvd series, and internet video magazine to produce a "Nigga Free" publication. Dionciel hasn't made a decision to partner with Simmons but the two has plans to partner in film, business, and publications in the future.

 

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